Make Yourself.

            One day, Horace the garden gnome decided to substantiate his thought that Steven—the lawn gargoyle—was overcharging his family for the protection he provided them.  Horace had inadvertently given Steven his credit card information at the beginning of their arrangement and he began to think that Steven was charging more than he said he was going to.  This conjecture left Horace with many sleepless nights.  His family was in the middle of a financial quagmire and the last thing that the family needed was more distress.  Horace became distraught with his situation and it eventually began to overwhelm him.

            When the problem became more than Horace could handle, he decided to assuage his beliefs.  Horace approached Steven one early spring morning and asked if he was overcharging him for protection.  Steven—in his disingenuous way—said that he would never violate the trust of Horace and was charging him exactly what they had agreed upon and said he saw no reason why Horace would ever think that.  Horace was not satisfied.  He knew that Steven was hiding something in his house—most likely overt and in the open.  The only problem with this was that Steven lived in a massive castle; built by the mystical monks from the city.  Horace knew that he could infiltrate the castle given enough time, but in order to expedite the process, he hired a motley crowd of the other garden gnomes.  He decided that a covert operation must be performed in order to solve this problem.  Luckily for him, each member of his crew had specific idiosyncrasies and the couple of Sarah and Bryan were specialists in covert ops.  Horace’s mind started to conjure up a plan to infiltrate the castle; he realized that he would need a transient distraction in order to get Steven away from the castle long enough.  Horace had a plan for the distraction, but he needed to bring in outside resources.  Since Steven’s job was protection, if a giant melee happened, Steven would have to break it up.  Horace hired the gnomes from across the street to start a fight.

            The plan to start a fight went off without a hitch.  The pastoral nature of the fight allowed it to happen quite easily without much planning. While the annihilation of the garden gnomes was occurring, Horace and his team infiltrated the castle.  Once inside, the crew found a pile of what seemed to be inscrutable documents.  The plan seemed to have failed, but then Sarah exclaimed, “I know this language!”  It turned out that the documents were written in pig latin, which Sarah was an expert in.  Not only did the documents reveal that Steven had been siphoning money from Horace, it revealed a nefarious plan to destroy the garden gnomes. Steven and his group knew that something had to be done in order to stop the gargoyle from succeeding.  Eventually Ryan, the chemistry gnome, came up with an idea to rig the sprinklers with HCl_(aq) to destroy and dissolve the gargoyle.  That night, while the gargoyle was sleeping, the crew added the acid into the sprinkler system.  The gnomes then escaped to the house across the street and waited for daybreak.  After the rooster had crowed, Horace pressed the button to release the acid.  When it was over, Steven was reduced to rubble.  The gnomes had succeeded.  They had gotten their revenge.    

 (written for my english class, most fun I’ve had writing in a while)

UGH I didn’t change my test fast enough, so now I have to take the full SAT next week, instead of just Math II. Fuck.

800 on my chem SAT :D

Could not have asked that weekend to go any better. I fucking love my friends.

So excited for prom tomorrow :D